“Whiskey doesn’t care. That’s what makes it cool.”

Ever anthropomorphize spirits? You know, assign an animal or object (like liquor) human traits?  Here’s an excellent, and hilarious example, from Dan Dunn’s recent rant on Food Republic, “Finally A Whiskey For Horrible People.”

It doesn’t matter what whiskey he’s referring to in the headline – THIS is the whiskey you want to know better:

Whiskey doesn’t care. That’s what makes it cool. The only other liquor that’s anywhere near as cool is Tequila. But Tequila’s always been too crazy to really be cool. Tequila will cut you for looking at its woman, then laugh while the cops drag it off to jail, and spit at you during the trial. And trust me you don’t want to pick on Vodka either. Dude doesn’t have much of a personality, but I swear he goes to the gym twice a day. You want the nerd of the liquor crew? Try Gin. You can give Gin an atomic wedgie and the worst it’ll do is scream that his daddy will have you banned from the yacht club.

Where else do we see anthropomorphizing? That’s right, fairy tales, where the wolf is Big and Bad, and the piglets are helpless but chatty. I want to read a fairy tale – or at least watch a cartoon – featuring these spirits as characters.

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5 thoughts on ““Whiskey doesn’t care. That’s what makes it cool.”

    • That is hilarous! Interestingly enough, I got my bottle of Christmas Bitters from Master of Malt just last week. Looking for a cocktail idea. This could be just what I’m looking for! I’ll skip the American Honey Bourbon and just use some real honey instead. All I need now is some Ginger Beer. Thanks for the heads up!

      Cheers!
      G-LO

  1. Pingback: Recipe: Hot Toddy — A Modern Meal Maker

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