Feeding cocktails to children is bad, right?

Someday, I’m going to look back on all this and laugh. Right?

I was in Portland, OR last week, promoting Spice & Ice in between general networking and merriment at the IACP conference. I had exactly two promotional opportunities planned:  a cocktail segment on KATU (the local ABC-TV affiliate), and book-signing at the IACP Cookbook Expo. What could possibly go wrong?

Part I:  Morning

The KATU studio, with Robo-Camera. It's like the world's biggest Roomba!

I arrived at KATU bright & early at 8:45 am, all my cocktail gear in hand. (Including all my chopped cucumbers, poblanos, and more, lovingly peeled and cut in my hotel room the evening before, aka “hotel mise-en-place.” Isn’t my life glamorous?) I set up quick-as-a-wink on a bar that would be wheeled out into the studio at the appropriate moment, and waited for my cue.

And then, they brought in the “studio audience.” I’ve never done a cocktail demo in a TV studio before, and certainly never in front of a studio audience. And for a moment, I froze.

They were children on a class trip.

Not exactly an ideal group for a cocktail demo. In fact, it’s a wildly inappropriate audience for a cocktail demo.

But I took a deep breath, and when the time came, I did my thing, doing my best to forget about who was watching, and focusing instead on making 3 Margarita variations. If you’d like to watch, the video is posted here.  Look for the host’s “trick” with the ice cubes. At least that part amused the kids.

Part II:  Afternoon

Repeat to myself:  no feeding cocktails to children, no feeding cocktails to children.  Fat chance!  At the IACP Cookbook expo, alphabetical order dictated seating order. To my left was Cynthia Nims, promoting her fun new book Gametime Gourmet with fun Scrabble tiles and other fun games. And to my right was Jackie Newgent, promoting her Big Green Cookbook  with “hyper-baked” chocolate chip cookies. Games + Cookies = children, like moths to the proverbial flame.

I found myself shooing away said moths reaching for a glass of pretty pink liquid to wash down their cookies. (Kool-Aid?  No, Blood-Orange Jalapeno Margaritas.) I’d say, as kindly as I could, “there’s alcohol in that,” and they’d snatch away their little hands as if I’d said “there’s poison in that.” 

Feeding cocktails to children is bad, right?  Then why does the universe seem to want me to do just that?

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